On my mind - decluttering people from my life...

WARNING:  SENSITIVE THREAD TOPIC AHEAD!!! 

Boy, this is a sensitive one!  How on earth do you decide that you need to let some people go from your life, whether it be because you've simply grown apart, no longer have the same interests, or whatever... 

Yeah, it's hard.

I've done it consciously before, and surprisingly once I actually did it, it was a weight lifted off my shoulder.  The person I'm talking about had grown increasingly negative, had found a partner who was a liar and a fraudster, and generally never left me with a "feel good" experience any more, despite us having been very very good friends for 23+ years...

In the end, it was really silly stuff that tipped it over the edge...  silly.  A funeral that only "certain" people were allowed to attend (and a friend who was shouted at because they wanted to dare bring someone not on the "list"), a eulogy delivered by someone who hadn't seen the person for 5 years, other people in tears who hadn't seen the dead guy for about 4 years, a minister who had trouble talking about him because he had two names....  fraud, fraud, fraud... just like the life.

I was sad because this fraudster had sucked my friend in.  Wholly and solely...  and yeah, I guess love can do that to you, but I had a lot of trouble working it out and coming to terms with it.  In the end, it did my head in and the funeral was the end.  That was 2007...

I've had contact with family members of this person since, and they are all just lovely.  I have kind of had a bit of contact with this person themselves - they sent me a birthday card, which I responded to with a birthday card for theirs.  I got an e-mail asking if they and their mother could visit (8 months early) because they were going on a holiday near where we live.  I have been civil but I haven't been overly friendly and I have struggled with this a bit too.

I've struggled because I don't know if I want this person back in my life.  Yes, we knew each other for a long time, but maybe the time came for our friendship to end.  They haven't made any attempt to be any more friendly with me, and that's fine with me for the time being.

I almost decluttered another friend from my life once...  I stopped calling her.  We didn't speak for about 3 or 4 years, then out of the blue I got an e-mail (broadcast type) that her dad was really ill and she was going to help her mum look after him.  I can't remember how I heard that he had passed away, but when I got that news I think I called her...  I think.  I can't remember actually. 

Anyway, I called and we were talking and she said "I know things haven't been good between us" and my reply was that they hadn't actually changed for me.  I was still the same person, still there for her, still her friend - all that had happened was I had stopped calling.  I had gotten tired of only being the one that picked up the phone and made the effort (we live a long distance apart) and the end result was the long period of time between our discussions...

We're still friends by the way!!!  We talk regularly, although lately it had gone back to being a bit one sided, and she hadn't replied to a few messages I'd left... so just this week I made the decision not to call again, but obviously the call I had put into her partner a couple of days earlier asking what on earth was going on, and that I was "very p*ssed off" not to have had even the courtesy of a text telling me she was ok but just didn't want to talk to anyone worked, as she rang me the next day...

We'll see what happens next on that one.

I guess this latest situation has me thinking about the top situation and whether I want to extend the olive branch or let it be.  It's a tough one.  We were good friends once, but I just wonder if that time has now passed.

Does anyone have any advice on things I can think about when I make this decision???  (or don't make a decision, which in effect is making a decision)

See why I need to declutter & sort????

An update from me on the booze front... Ahem...

Gin - 8 large, 1 small
Whiskey - 2 large, 1 small
Vodka - 4 large - 2 plain, 1 mandarin, 1 lemon
Baileys - 6
Sambucca - 2
Kahlua - 2
Tequila - 2
Port - 7 (mostly commemorative)
Grand Marnier
Cointreau
Frangelico
Tia Maria
Southern Comfort
Midori
Rum

There's more, that's just the well known ones...      

They say that if you have a heap of alcohol in the house, you're not an alcoholic.... thank goodness for that!  We don't drink a lot of spirits, and it appears to show, now that I have all the booze in one place!!!

Turning a corner - and a moment of realisation...

I had a bit of a “moment” last night.  I was looking at all the house stuff still pulled out of cupboards & storage spaces, and all of a sudden it dawned on me the enormity of what I had started.  I figured that this decluttering thing was going to be over and done with in quite a short period of time (yeah, god only knows why I thought that!!!) and that my notion of only putting back what had been sorted and cleaned was not actually going to work in practice.

So – I changed my tack a little, and set a slightly different course, but one which will lead me to the same destination.

I have been putting things back where they belong, but not everything, and not necessarily “away”.  For example, I have been finding bits and pieces of craft and sewing things in different boxes.  Ribbon that I can use on sewing projects, needles, crochet hooks, yarn etc.  I am simply taking these to the spare bedroom and placing them on the bed.  Mind you, before I do that, I have been looking at the item to see if it’s worth keeping – if not, it’s leaving!

The spare bed, with things spread out in piles according to what they are... I do seem to have quite a few "bags" of things though...

So – what’s that done for me?  Well, so far I have an almighty mess in the spare bedroom as I put stuff in there, I’m gathering more stuff in the bedroom (I found 9 ½ pairs of shoes last night alone.  I don’t know where the other ½ is yet....) and I have a pile of things that is now living in the dining room, waiting to go into the boys’ room when it’s finished being painted. 

I thought about that too – it might actually make it worse, having the stuff spread around the house in more areas.  In some ways, it does.  The clutter is now spread out, rather than being confined to a smaller area.  However, in some ways that’s also good as it allows me to concentrate on “like with like” decluttering, having gotten rid of the big bits of it.  It also gives me back my living space!  That makes me feel ever so much better – no more piles of stuff that you have to move in order to watch TV!!!

Getting more space in the media room!!!

The pile of things that are leaving the house in some way, shape or form is growing.  I have now been putting things into that pile that I think may not stay in the pile, like some small plastic drawers and a basket that will be useful down the track.  Those sorts of things may go into a “maybe” pile for later thought...

As the pile of "departures" and "possible departures" continues to grow...

One thing that I did say really early on was that I wasn’t going to rush this job, and I think that thought has always been in my head, it’s just that I didn’t realise that “not rush” meant “it’ll take a while”. 

I don’t know why that is!


I did read something very interesting this afternoon, which I will leave you to ponder on, it's about the Law of Attraction:

Law of attraction

How can the universe give you something when you have no space for it?

Clutter that blocks the positive energy of the universe isn’t just found in tangible items.  The most stubborn clutter is found in the ways we fill our lives with meaningless activity, negative people and wasted time.

Deciding how to organise things...

I have discovered a challenge while I've been doing this decluttering, and that is HOW to organise things when I am putting them back.

Take my craft and sewing for example.  I have stuff everywhere!!!  I had been operating out of my sewing trolley which housed my sewing machine, plus every other thing that I had in the way of craft and sewing.  When we changed around the bedrooms and I got some space that was going to be mine, I started organising the things that I had.  I sorted all my fabric, and I put all my fabric stash into a plastic tub and I did the same with some other "like" things...

Fast forward 3 months, and now I'm starting to put things back in the sewing area again.  I have decided that the best way to tackle sorting and organising the craft and sewing things is to collect it all in one place, then sort like with like, then look at how I will store things.  I have a small set of drawers that I will put things like needles, pins etc. in (probably in little baskets so they don't all roll around too) and I have some plastic drawers that I may also use.  The tubs are a good thing for me - they have lids, and I bought some extra ones from Ikea that are smaller in size but taller so they take up less floor space.  They also have lids.

I think that for me, this style of organising works best.  Get it all together and then sort it out, then store it.  Only store what you will use!  Chuck stuff you won't use!

Do you have any other strategies that you use? 

TODAY was Muster Tent putting up day...!!!

Yesterday actually...  Finally we found the muster site and got our spot pegged out and tent put up!  But, boy oh boy what a way to get there!

I couldn't find the muster site on www.whereis.com so I kinda guessed.  I had a little "moment" in the car when I said that I hoped that I had chosen our destination to be the right place... but it turned out I got it a little wrong - not a lot though, and it was a lovely drive.  Anyway, we went up hills and down dales from Gympie and got there eventually after a couple of about turns...  There wasn't many people at the muster site yet!  I guess others are having trouble finding their way in too!!!

So - we're really pleased, we got prime spot!

Normally by now there'd be lots of people around us... with the main road in being closed, there's only a few people here.  We will have 5 tents on this spot once we're done...

This was one of the creek crossings coming out.  The trees are all laying over on their sides from the flood earlier in the year.  There's evidence of the flood and its fury all over the place...

Winter is here...

My brother came to visit this weekend and on Saturday, we decided to go up the beach to the Noosa North Shore.  It's about a 15 minute trip into Tewantin, where we get onto the barge and go across the river, and then about a 10 minute drive on the road, then we turned off to the beach, and drove up the beach as far as Double Island Point.

What a gorgeous day!  The sun was shining, the birds were all having a lovely time, and Ken and Mick decided to do some fishing.  I sat in the sun on my folding chair, and did some crocheting.  We moved a couple of times to find better fishing spots, but there wasn't much around.

This is how you find "pippies" or "cockles" - you look on the sand, and when you find the lumps like this, dig down about 3 inches and you'll find what's below...

Pippies!!!  Great bait!

My brother Mick on the right, and Ken on the left - in the water fishing...

Ken on the left, Mick on the right... they got a bit wet.  Did I mention it's winter here???

The beach is actually a gazetted road. It has a speed limit, and road rules apply...

So... now you know - winter is here.  I don't think I'd want to live anywhere else at the moment!!!

On my mind... my journey is gathering some speed right now...

I feel like I'm a bit on a speeding train at the moment.  I have taken this journey to declutter and simplify my life, and that has mainly been focussed on possessions and STUFF - because we had a deadline, our floors. 

As you'll have seen - we are living the "life on the lawn" dream at the moment, with a lot of our stuff in the kitchen following the carpet and timber floor replacements.  I don't want to just put stuff back, I want to sort it and declutter as I go, which is a bit more of a challenge.  I have quite a pile of things that are departing at some time in the future - I have designated the camping table as the departing table at the moment, although I fear that the space that is currently just the table will need to be expanded... 

Last night I put a lot of lovely things away in the china cabinet, and tonight I may put some of the glasses that we will keep away in the sideboard.  I want to ensure that I take the time to enjoy doing this - and I have been so far.  I have washed everything that goes back, so no more dust.  Actually, some things I don't think have ever been washed!

What I'm enjoying about taking my time with this job is that I can remember where the things came from.  I have things from my grandmother, my ex-husband's mother and grandmother, my nanna etc., and it is just so wonderful thinking about my nanna who went and chose a doiley for me as a gift and asked my dad to send it to me, or my grandmother who used to teach me (much to my mother's disgust) how to "saucer my tea" when it was too hot to drink, justifying it by telling me that "I'll bet the Queen would have to saucer her tea when she's in a hurry"... hmmm - maybe that's where my hate of things too hot comes from!!!